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| Wednesday, March 30, 2005 |
We watched the 10 45am show, at cathay cineleisure orchard. So few people and Jiayi's laughter could be heard all across the theatre. Hahaha. Then, after the movie, she lost her sandal. She searched high and low. Finally she found it, it was below her front seat. Couldn't see properly coz the cinema was dark. After watching, we walked to Takashimaya. Ate lunch at Seoul Garden. They have the student price at $8++. Total up, the price became $13+ for each person. They cheat, wadever the $8 for? Hahaha. But the $13 was worth it. We ate alot!, talked alot!, and laughed alot! Actually we only laughed towards the end of our meal. Must be the digesting reaction. Hahaha. I don't really like to eat there, actually. But Jan doesn't eat sushi. So, can't be helped. I don't like the cooking coz the oil will splatter to our hands. I don't really like the variety of food either. They have many types of chicken meat but only 1 type of beef. The vegs were fresh though but we didn't eat vegs alot. Coz it can only be boiled and not fried. Hahaha. The boiling bowl is SO small!~ Then Jiayi always want to make it full coz she doesn't like to see the food in it run low. *Sigh* She's so funny. After the main course, I had dessert. Ice creams!~ I took all the flavours. They were all YUMMY!!! Hehehe. Jan had 3 servings of ice creams...She was a bit weird. Kept on asking about ice cream. Pregnant ah? LOL. We stayed in the restaurant for about 2 hrs. We gave up when we were all very bloated. Jiayi ate the least, Jan eat the most dessert, Jul n I ate the most. Well, I think Jul is an expert in eating buffet. :P After the meal, we couldn't breathe normally. I think our stomach was so full that it couldn't take in anymore oxygen or couldn't expand anymore. LOL. It was really funny lah, the whole day was so interesting. To let the food go down, we walked. We went to The Heeren, Paragon, Takashimaya, Esprit. Saw lots of things. I bought a new handphone accesory, an angel wearing white shirt. It was sooo nice :) And I also bought a new pair of slippers, red colour Esprit slippers. Yay, finally I've new slippers hehehe. Jiayi left earlier than us coz she need to go to the Bible Study. After she left, we continued walking. And Jul finally bought a pouch for her handphone. She liked it when she saw at Heeren the 1st time but she didn't buy it straight away. After sometime, she couldn't find anymore nice pouch and so we went back to the Heeren and she bought it. We decided to go back at around 7pm+. Jan n Jul took MRT and I took bus (as usual). Saw Eugene, Esther n co. when bus 14 came. I didn't notice till he waved at my face. Hahaha. The bus was sooo full. Had difficulty in alighting. That's the end of my day. Haha. Interesting~ Hoping to have this kindda day again some other time. Hope my friends are "on". :) |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 11:59 PM |
| Tuesday, March 29, 2005 |
At night when I was just going to doze off, Singapore shook hard. I read my novel till around 12 10 in the morning. Then earthquake happened at around 12 25 or 30. It was scary. The 1st thing I grabbed was my cell phone. Hahaha. A few ppl went downstairs but the 3 of us just waited inside. We were wondering whether should we be going down or wait. The shake was quite hard, it made my door sound even though it was closed. However, it lasted for only a few mins. Approximately around 10 to 15 mins. After it was over, we went back to bed. But my sis n I chat for a few mins. She told me that the news had said that after the tsunami, there'll be another far more dangerous disaster than the tsunami. It's gonna be 5 times more dangerous. She said that it happened before, after the tsunami that had happened many years back. It probably will be the end of the world when it happens. Everything will be swept away. Leaving nothing behind. I can't imagine. I was actually scared when I thought of "end of the world". Suddenly I felt that it's happening real fast. There are still so many things I hadn't do, have, achieve, etc. I still wanna try having to take care of a pet dog, I wanna graduate and finish my studies, wanna have a bf (though He's my 1st and will always be my 1st and forever love), wanna have a private bedroom, wanna have lotsa money. Many things! And the thought of end of this life suddenly scared me. I can't let go of alot of things. I also wondered what would happen after the end of the world. Will it be another "God created the Earth and all the creatures in it?" It's very silly, I know. But I'm just curious. Hahaha. Last time I heard that the end of the world will come when the biggest church in..I forgot where...Is finally built. Is it true? If it is, I wonder how is the building progressing. This morning when I was asleep, my sis sms me, telling me that the earthquake was from Sumatra. That means, it must have a great impact on Sumatra since it could be felt in S'pore. I wonder if Jkt also felt the shake. Maybe I'll call my sis or bro later on. Anyways, now it's raining very heavily in S'pore. It was very cloudy earlier on, but now it's bright sky with rain pouring down. Wonder when will the downpour stop. I had a dream last night, S'pore had a flood with all the dirty water. Gosh what a scary scene. Is it a sign? Or it's just another nigtmare? I dunno. Oh yeah, I installed a few things in my just-reformatted desktop yesterday. I installed iTunes, Bluetooth, Quicktime player, etc. I can't survive if I don't listen to music. So, I added lotsa songs into the iTunes, including the hillsongs. Weird...Even though I on the shuffle, it kept on playing Christian songs, from one to another. Only sometimes it played other type of song. I miss the songs so much..I wanna add them into my iPod after I finish clearing those unwanted songs. However, I'm just wondering if it's a sign from the Lord, drawing me closer to Him, trying hard to call me back. Can't stop wondering today. |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 11:50 AM |
| Monday, March 28, 2005 |
Many ppl has been asking when am I going back to Indo, especially my older sis n bro. They can't wait for me to go back. Coz...They need me to help them take care of my younger bro. LOL. They're making use of me, aren't they? But it's okay. I love them! :) I'm going to TP soon. Gotta meet up with Jul n Jan. I wanna go to the General Office to ask bout the Overseas SIP. So troublesome. The journey to and from TP takes longer than I stay in the GO. Hahaha. Great. Actually I waste alot of time in bus. I can't study in bus or read books. I often just listen to the mp3 or sleep or just look at people. Hahaha. My bro used to ask me to read newspaper during the long journey. Cant imagine how to read it. I dont like to read newspapers coz the paper is dirty and the pages are so big. My arms aren't very long and I find difficulty reading them unless I put them on a table. Okie dokie...I'll stop here. Gotta go offline and get ready to go outta my house and walk to the bus stop and then to TP. Hahaha. Nothing to do and so I'm a bit long-winded. X( Alrighty...Velly out~ |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 2:31 PM |
| Sunday, March 27, 2005 |
Oh yeah...I didn't get to go to Kallang indoor stadium for Easter celebration in the end. Yesterday I had to accompany my uncle n his family to the Jurong Bird Park. Wow I was exhausted. The journey itself was already very tiring. We alighted at Jurong East MRT station. But to go to the birdpark, we were supposed to go to Boon Lay! So we went to take MRT again and went to Boon Lay station and take a bus. Stayed there for about 2 hrs. The park isnt so big. We managed to finish one round. We walked alot and saw quite many interesting birds. But it wasnt very exciting. As a matter of fact, the place is sooo boring!~ We should've went to the Theme Park instead. *Sigh* Oh well it's ok...It's over and at least I took quite lotsa photos. I'm supposed to go for the Easter today at 11am. But I didn't coz I'm still kindda tired and I've to meet my uncle. His departure is postponed till tmr morning. Guess I wont be able to see them off to the airport. I'll probably be still on my bed. Hahaha. Hm...I'll stop here for the moment. Can't wait to meet n play with Jack the puppy Jack Russel. Hehehe. Liang, pls arrange faster ;) |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 5:08 PM |
| Friday, March 25, 2005 |
Today's a Good Friday. And I'm staying at home, alone. My aunt went out, my sis went out to study with her friend. And I'm supposed to study for the RHRA paper, for tomorrow. Havent been able to fully concentrate. Yesterday I went to the library with my usual hangout friends, but all of us didn't have the mood to study. We have all switched to holiday mood. I spent a few hrs in the library but only studied for like...20 mins. Hahaha. In addition, I didn't bring my iPod with me. So I tend to look around for people, and chat, etc. Liang went home halfway coz he was sleepy and his mind wasn't working properly. Hahaha he tried to move on but he couldn't, instead he stuck on 1 topic and still couldn't memorise it. So he decided to go home and have a nap. Dunno how his revision is doing now. Well for mine...It's still not moving anywhere. *sigh* It's so boring...But I gotta be serious. Coz for now.. the time is so near already. I think by tonight, I'll be memorising like hell. :( After tmr's paper, I'll be having my holidays AGAIN!!! Yipeee... Hehehe. But I'm scared with the results that I'll get. So I probably gotta wait and see before I go back to Jakarta. Tmr's Easter btw. Had promised Jiayi that I'll go to her church's Easter celebration, but I forgotten and told my unc that I'll be joining them. My unc and his family came to S'pore for about a week. And Sat is the only day I can go out with them. They'll go back to Jkt on Sun. Now I need to really arrange my time in order for me to go to the Easter. Jiayi is really hoping I could come. I hope so too. Anyway if I really cant make it on Sat, I was thinking to go on Sun. Jan is going on sunday too. She was asked to accompany an invited friend to go. So probably we can sit together. :) Hm....I'll see how later on. Can't predict the future. It's in God's Hands. I better get back to my books for now. Hopefully tmr's paper isn't so hard. |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 12:47 PM |
| Monday, March 14, 2005 |
In the afternoon, a few hrs before his departure, he asked me bout the home phone bill. He asked me why am I not taking care of it. I'm supposed to sort and calculate my aunt's phone usage. But I dare not tell him my real thoughts, so I only smiled stupidly at him. (I dont feel good if I straight away sort it with my aunt. It's like I'm so money face) And once again he looked disappointed and told me how can I handle money, some sort of bookkeeping I guess. I felt so sad when I heard him say that. I felt like I had let him down. But at the same time, I felt sad coz he had said such discouraging words. I myself am so disappointed with him. That's why I often envy my friends' parents who can show them care, understanding, love, supports. Whenever they fail any exams, their parents will still encourage them and console them. If I were to fail or get bad grades, I cant and wont wanna imagine how my parents will react. I wasn't able to put a happy face in front of my dad. I had tried to force myself to smile, but I couldnt. I felt so lonely, especially after the friendship thingy. So many thoughts playing on my mind, which will nvr be solved. I couldnt stand it. I felt so stressed up. I was hoping I could tell somebody about what I'm thinking of or my feelings, but there was no one to turn to. I often cry inside, I wanna cry out loud but couldnt coz there would always be somebody at home. I had been feeling so uneasy after I tried to switch my religion back to Buddhist. I'm faced with a conflict, mentally. I tend to feel upset and irritated more easily. There was no peace and joy deep in my heart anymore. I felt like there's somethin' missing in my life. After my day had finally entered the departure gate, my sis n I went to have dinner at BK terminal 1. Had a meal and chat with her. Complained bout our parents and bout how envious I am of other people's parents. And about the religion thingy too. When I was telling her bout how I felt towards our parents, I couldnt fight back my tears. I was actually crying at BK. That's how sad I was, after so long thinking and keeping it to myself. I guess my sis was rather surprised when she saw me crying. She tried to console me and I'm grateful for her encouragement. I told her that I'm lack of parents' love and attention. I need their support and also understanding. I know I'm too old for this kindda thing, but I still wanna feel loved by my parents. I havent feel it since young. I know that they love me, which parents dont love their children, right? But they nvr put their love into action. That's why I always say that I dont wanna grow up. Coz they're giving my mind a lot of trouble which can make me break down and cry. And about the religion, I told my sis that I've been feeling empty and didnt feel my purpose of life anymore ever since we're trying to switch religion. My sis understood and had actually felt the same kindda feeling as well. So she encouraged me to just follow what I want. I still believe in God and its hard for me to remove Him from my heart n mind. I realised that I was irritated and was in bad mood so often for the past few mths. I dont like it, at all! I wanna feel joyful and blessed again. I wanna say prayer and be thankful to Him again. At least, I could tell God about how I felt in the past. I could pray and cry to Him. I'd feel alright soon after that. But now, not anymore. I need to return to Him. I dunno how will I succeed in the future. But I gotta do it this time. At least for the time being, since I'm still in S'pore. I wanna worship Him one more time. Hopefully, my parents will accept it one day. I'll pray for that moment to come. After I had let out all my feelings to my sis, I finally felt better and lighter. It's like the burden in my mind was removed a li'l bit. I could finally smile and laugh with her. And she suddenly became more caring towards me, well... at least for a few days. I'm thankful enough though. |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 11:59 PM |
| Saturday, March 12, 2005 |
After that, Jul n I finally went up the stairs n entered TP. Wondering y they came so early. In the end, Jan told us that they both went to photocopy some notes for the Travel subj. We both were very confused n asked her y nd to photostat summore? So Jan simply said, Desmond said the lect notes were not enough n that we have to search ourselves for more info n he told all of us n we shld know. Oh alright. But we both felt that since u r our close fren, what's wrong with sharing that info with us again? U know that we both r the blur-est persons among all 4 of us. *Sigh* So if we didnt go to sch early that day, we will still dont know about this thing till now. How great is that?! Then yesterday..We met earlier for lunch before our RHRA tut class coz Jul's maid went back to her homeland. After lunch, we were supposed to go to library to photocopy summore Travel notes. But suddenly Jan n Liang wanted to go to the comp lab. Ok then. So we went separate ways. At 1st, I didnt thot of it much. But Jul was sensitive bout this kindda thing. N after she said out her thoughts, it made me think. I quite agree with her. I feel inferior. Coz I'm neither smart nor clever like Jan n Liang, not pretty, not hardworking, dunno my own timetable, etc. I often felt isolated actually. I dunno y. Sometimes when the both of them talk to each other, its like the topic doesnt concern anybody elses. Is it bcoz they're smart ppl? I cant figure out the ans. Anyway, sometimes during group discussions, all of them talk in Chinese. And I DONT UNDERSTAND! How great is that? Y cant u guys speak in EL? My Chinese lang. is very limited. So, I keep quiet most of the time during discussions or chats. And sometimes, when I finally open my mouth to contribute, nobody listens to my idea. How sad. Mayb they dont trust me..Oh well, I'm stupid anyway. So we tend to listen to those clever ppl. I understand...But still..Talking without any1 listening is painful. That's y everytime anybody wanna speak out their idea, I tend to help him or her to speak. But I cant help myself to make them listen to me. *Sigh* Its alright...I'm a nobody. Soon I'm gonna leave S'pore. But no matter how hard I try to ignore the sadness and the thought about this friendship thingy for the whole day, I think even more. I'm upset bcoz we're such close friends. And they dont wanna share with us. Is that considered as close frens? Well, I dunno. After the incident of Jan complaining whenever a fren borrow her work, I started to avoid asking help from her again. I know that if I ask her to let me see her work, she'll lend me. But who knows what happen behind my back right? I dont want her to lend me unwillingly. So, I tend to just do my best n thats all. Dont care whether right or wrong. I dont understand y the closer we get and the more we get to know each other, the further away our friendship is. Oh well...But if we must go our own way, I just wanna say thanks to the 3 of them for being my friend. I appreciate ur presence so much. We have gone thru a lot of stuff together, be it in sch or outside sch. And I will remember u guys forever coz we were once very close friends. I'm very glad to know the 3 of u n u guys r very nice ppl. :) Btw, exams r coming again. I hope I can study well, do my best during the papers. I hope none fails. N then I can enjoy my short holidays together with my family once again. |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 1:49 AM |
| Friday, March 04, 2005 |
Yesterday after we practiced our singing of "Wang bu liao" song for a while, we felt very sianz and so Liang wanted to llisten to some of Mariah Carey's song. At 1st he wanted to play "One Sweet Day" but Jul didnt have it in her lappy. So, he played "Thank God I Found You" instead. Then Liang n I started to sing. And suddenly we thought of changing our song for the presentation. Then we started practicing and we were all very glad to sing it. Unlike the time we sang Wang Bu Liao, we all felt so forced to sing. Hahaha. At 1st we were all very scared, nervous and also forgot some of our lines every now n then. I was so worried for our group. And the line dance as well. We practiced a lot of time already and till this morning, while in Jul's, some of us still got our steps wrong. However, thank God our performance was magnificent! Hehehe. Even Mrs Valerie Mok complimented our group for our well co-ordination etc. I'm so proud n relieved that our hardwork has paid off. Our 1st program was the karaoke, everybody was quiet, listening to us and at the same time, tried to sing but softly. We distributed the lyrics to all of them before we start. Next was our line-dancing. After we showed our moves to them, we started to call them up, asking them to participate. We also called Mrs Valerie Mok to dance along. Hehehe. She was very co-operative. :) It was very very fun. I dunno how did my classmates do, coz I stood infront with Jiayi, Jason, Jul n Jan or Yuyun (I dunno who) leading all of them. But I'm sure all of them enjoyed the dance as much as we did for the past few days. Hehehe. It was a good exercise for all of my group members. The rest of the group came up with some aerobic, yoga, aromatherapy, cha2 dance, and waltz. The dances were fun. Hehehe. The aerobic too. But yoga was hard..!~ After this program, I felt that our class had finally start to grow some bonds. Or at least for that moment of time. :p When every programs were done, and Valerie Mok complimented our group, we were asked to sing an encore!! Hehehe. This time, all of us sang together. It was so loud and the atmosphere suddenly changed. It was like all of us has always been that close. Which actually we are not. LOL. Alright so the bottom line for today's post is...I'm so glad Liang likes MC, I'm so glad that MC sings meaningful songs, I'm so glad that we chose to change the song at the very last minute, I'm so glad that our presentation went very well, I'm so glad that our classmates enjoyed our performance, I'm so glad that I have all of them as my friends, I'm so glad that I could sing out my parts well, AND!!! I love singing even more now!!! Hehehehee... Hope I can be a singer 1 day :p |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 5:08 PM |
| Wednesday, March 02, 2005 |
My HR group has been practicing for our HR presentation for these 2 days. The presentation is coming soon, its on this Friday. Each group were supposed to come up with 2 wellness programs which they had recommended in their reports. Some group is gonna have aerobic, some is yoga. As for the rest, I'm gonna have to see on Fri. My group had chosen line dancing and a karaoke. Today's the 2nd day we enjoyed ourselves in Jul's house. Hehehe. Her maid, Marybelle (I dunno how to spell), had been serving all of us with good foods. Yummy!~ She's soooo good. But too bad Jul's family is going to get her changed soon. Then after lunch, we proceeded to the dancing steps. What a good exercise! We enjoyed line-dancing sooo very much now. Hehehe. Then today we practised our karaoke, which sounds very OFF. Cant stand it...We sounded so awful. I couldnt stop laughing at the lyric. Hahaha. Hope we're gonna get it over and done with. Cant wait for Fri. We were supposed to have our CS meeting role-play today. But Ms Lim sms last night saying that she's very sick and so she postponed the roleplay till next monday. Hm... Should I feel glad or not? I dunno.. Last night, something happened at home. My grandpa fell from his bed, he was probably heading towards the toilet but his legs turned weak and numb when he got on his feet. So he fell, at around 11 30pm, and nobody knew. Just when I started to doze off, my aunt woke me up saying that grandpa fell. She blamed me, indirectly, for not checking on him when she asked me to, after we heard him making noise. I thought he was just clearing his throat, just like usual. How would I know that he was actually calling for somebody. Anyway...So I woke up. And started to smell some shit smell. My grandpa had passed motion and urinated in his pants coz of the fall and he wasnt able to move. So the smell entered my room coz our rooms are connected by a bathroom. *Sigh* Not so long after that, when I just fell asleep, I was once again woken up. They asked me for a thermometer and had to show them how to use. My grandpa had a fever, 38.8 degrees. Then after had the measurement, I went back to my bed, tried hard to quickly sleep AGAIN. But, once again, they woke me up to call for an ambulance. Then each time I woke up, I kept on thinking about my presentation which I'd be having in the morning. I was scared I might overslept or something. Luckily I could woke up on time and was ready on time. When I left, my grandpa returned home in an ambulance with my unc n aunt. Hm...So much incident at 1 go. So, they postponed their departure for the moment. The 3 of them were supposed to go back to Jkt this morning. But instead of them going back, 2 more of my aunts came to S'pore. I was shocked when I got home. Hahaha. Now my home's noisy and merry. LOL. |
| Vell Signed off ♥ 7:59 PM |
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A space filled with stories about a life of a simple, unknown girl who wishes to make it big someday. The known and the unknown, the told and the untold, will be revealed here.
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